Yesterday I read a post on Facebook (someone else’s post) that I then placed on my FB page here: https://www.facebook.com/RohiniSunderamAuthor
The post is an amusing account of two colleagues and a spat they have over a turkey & rye sandwich. I mentioned that it reminded me of some of the poems in Corpoetry, like The Water Cooler. One friend said she’d like to see what I’d make of that situation in a poem.
And so, here it is!
‘Twas in an office, I heard tell
Of a prankster ne’er do well
He stole, it seems, a colleague’s lunch
And the outcome was a bunch
Of laughs for folk like me and you
But from the posts, it seems ‘twas true
And this is how it went:
“Oh sandwich thief, I know you keep
Stealing my sandwiches, why oh why?
The latest one’s turkey on rye.
Grow up you thief, you sandwich thief!”
The thief replied, “dear Turkey ’n’ Rye
I have it here, I do not lie,
Ten bucks is all that it will take
To get it back upon a plate.”
The victim lashed back with a threat:
“Return my sandwich, thief, or else!
To HR I shall take my ‘plaint
And then let’s see how you will faint!”
The Sandwich Thief, did threaten back
“Alas, my dear, alas, alack!
For every hour that you delay
Bite by bite, I’ll eat it away.”
Threats then turned to psycho chat
“Why oh why are you doing this?”
The sandwich ‘napper, not remiss
“Tick-Tock” he sent a photo back.
But in an office, as we know
Don’t push your luck for it can go
As in this case, to HR’s top
And HR weighed in with a ‘Stop!
“Cease! Desist! Return the food
And we’ll not take this any further”
But sandwich ‘napper he’s a boob
Demands a pizza, silly joker.
Next he adds an insult in
Threatens not to eat but chew
And then in little mouthfuls spew
The sandwich in a bin!
“You’re the worst” our Victim sighs
“I’m not” Our Sandwich Thief replies
And in eloquent prose outlines
The corporation’s ills and its demise.
Now, thanks to IT and what not
HR tracked down the wicked sot
“Francis!” they name and shame the chap
“Come and see us, now ASAP!”
Now Sandwich Thief, he ain’t so bold
(In fact it almost makes one sicken)
“Please don’t fire me,” he folds!
The turkey made him chicken.